"What would you say to a friend?"

Christians have likely heard some version of the statement, “Stop judging and you will not be judged. Stop condemning and you will not be condemned. Forgive and you will be forgiven.” (Luke 6:37, similar in Matthew 7:1-2) And the tone of that text seems clear—that we will be judged, evaluated, and treated according to how we judge, evaluate, and treat others.

Certainly a cautionary tale, and a great reminder to treat others with the same level of kindness that we’d like to receive.

Many of us, however, face a different challenge—to treat ourselves with the same grace that we treat others. Our inner voice is often much harsher on ourselves than anything than we would ever be to others.

I experienced this myself once when I was describing to a friend a situation I was dealing with. I was reflecting pretty negatively on my own role. My friend surprised me by asking, “What would you say to a friend going through this same situation?” My reply was something along the line of, “Well, we all make mistakes, there’s nothing here that can’t be fixed, and sometimes you just need to see what you can learn and move on.” And he said, “What if you did that for yourself?”

The admonition conveyed in the gospels according to Luke and Matthew is wise and it is incomplete. In addition to treating others as we’d like to be treated, let’s be sure to treat ourselves as we would those closest to us.